The Ibadan bus- the hustle

The discomfort was just too much but I could not open my mouth. If I did I would seem rude or something but my mind kept repeating the same
” People, fear God and close this thing na!”
“Please close your laps!”
For the greatest journey I will ever experience, this was the circle of thoughts for a while.
You know when people say “o je Wa Kang” or ” sco pu tu mana” or ” ki lo n Sele” or “the day you will never forget”
This fateful Sunday was the day I should be asked this.
Let me explain why I am going to be ranting for a while as I experienced sitting in this excessive sardine packed tin of a bus I took from Ibadan to Osogbo.
It all started from the journey from Okigwe, after having an awesome time in the presence of the Lord over the weekend we joyfully had a 10 hours journey back to Ibadan and got to scripture union by 5.
One thing led to another I had to take a bus from another garage that I normally do not take ( how I had to take this garage is another story).
Anyways on almost entering the bus, the first thing that met my eyes was that out of 60% of the passengers, I was the second feminine person to board it. For ladies reading this that companstand this kind of scenario, you know that this scenario always sets one weird alarm in your brain. But I was detamined! I wanted to go home for my sweet mamas post birthday celebration and greet daddy happy father’s day.
So I entered into the great forest of men thinking that will be the only problem. I went to the far back near a weirdly wide window. Later into the journey, my brain realized that the window should normally not be that size. One of the windows had been removed but at that moment, i chose that as my emergency escape. For incase anything happen laidis issa jappa something o. When I told my sister later she was like if rain now fell nko, I and the person will now be dragging one window for protection.
I paid the werdly cheap price and later found out that “we all paid for the price in truth”. Like! Why on Earth should Ibadan to Osogbo be 400 naira, well! Things are tough, at that time i was like “ayam a student if I see Bonanza we boooo”
If you dare say hustle, make you no….I slaipp you.
Anyways, Our great journey started, 4 people on every column of the bus!!!!! 4 people! People of God! 4! In a bus, that is not spacious enough and good enough. You know all those buses that the metal have jera tan. Yes, four of us in the back.
Now, imagine I was the only girl with four extra men seating beside me. Yes I didn’t make a mistake of putting four. Some men still had the audacity to lap themselves in the back! Unfortunately for me I was the sacrifice. As per I am a girl and the thinest( – 50kg), I was like the smallest fish in a sardine container with too much fishes inside or like the sandwich in between breads. The bus metal as one side of the bread and the men as the other side.
Now these men still had the boldness and heart to spread their laps! They had the igboya! Is this how life should be? Why do you men do this? If we are opening laps anyhow, will you like it, tell me will you like it?
( O ye perverts and Playboy’s if you dare say you will be happy, I will slaipp you!).
Please for future sakes, men opening your legs wide in the bus when obviously we are all managing is totally wrong. Opening your leg will not increase your ego or money or anything. Closing it won’t remove from you too, please lez EPP each other. Eshe o, adupe o.
On and on, we went in the tin of a car called bus. If you heard the sound of the bus you would think it was a need for speed scenario or fast and furious part 6 scene but when we were “overtaking” cars it was like we were in a snail shell and we were brought back to reality. This tin of a car was just an empty barrel that knows how to shout well.
I don’t know if it was the bus or the driver but i know that this journey made me feel like I had never passed this road before.Gbasgbosgba was our music. The small bumps lifted my below bag of cement weight off the chair like as if I was nothing. By the end I was not only needing paracetamol but massage for my body especially for my ischium side i.e. bumbum. The unnecessary gbasgbos got the passengers into few conversations but I am sure we all had more to say but we just wanted to go home.
The two things that gave me comfort were
1. The nice man beside me, one thing led to another and he turned to my travel guide. As we were getting to each town, he told me the name. He became my temporary google map. Thanks to people like that wherever you are.
2. In this funny, rough and crazy journey. One certain man could still sleep. Like!

    He could still sleep, and his sleep was not normal. Apart from the normal side to side and up to down movement of the bus this man had a movement of his own. To the right, stop, come back up to the left cine back to the back. He went 360° with no shame. In a crazy bus, I hail him! This man was my comic relief because a lot of things came to my mind.

This was my first ever night travel alone. I thought of kidnapping, robbery, car spoiling, etc. This man made things funny a little. Thanks to people like this too but in case Sir! Don’t sleep like that during fire outbreak too o.
Finally finally, someone wee think all the struggle. It will take us home. No. Our precious tin showed us pepper. It decided that “no, enough is enough. I can take it no more. This is where I abide. Clutch out. Goodnight”
Our dear driver still wanted us to push this tin to rise from the dead into the road again! Hmmm, choi. The love of money. Hustle ti poju.
Please if you know you have used something excessively. Take it for recycling. Let us stop pushing things to the limits before doing things. And when you have something take care of it well. When you have to service, service.
Make things better.
P.S I got home like to 10 thanks to another half-empty bus coming to our rescue with lot of gist to tell my “angry parents”. When they heard, they had to coolotemper.
P.S even though I had a good neighbour, I pushed my leg wide too o. They won’t kill me before I die, I did not wear long gown for nothing. Issa multipurpose something. E go be!

Story of THE BUS.